10 ways that 2020 is different from 2019


1.

2019:You try to make your bed in the morning but it doesn’t always happen.

2020:When you finally roll out of bed, you make your bed because it has become your office, your TV room, and sometimes your dining room table.

2.

2019: You get dressed for work and try to wear something you haven’t worn lately.

2020: You are proud if you get out of your pajamas before noon. At lunch, you joke to your family (since you have lunch together every day now) that you might put another gold star on your sticker chart for getting dressed today. They don’t laugh because you tell that joke almost every day.

3.

2019: You go to the grocery store every couple of days and you try to remember during check out to smile at the cashier and stay off your phone.

2020: You go to the grocery store once every week or two. You dress up, put on your homemade face mask and freak out if someone comes within 6 feet from you. You smile at the cashier (under your mask, of course), effusively thank him for doing his job and putting his life a risk. You spend the precious time at check out pumping him for information on anything at all because he is the only person other than your immediate family members that you will see in person all week.

4.

2019: You take your computer and phone for granted.

2020: Your computer and phone are your lifelines to a world outside your house. You pray to them every day and hope that they do not break. You kiss them often but you wipe them with Clorox wipes before you do.

5.

2019: You do the obligatory dog walk twice a day.

2020: You can’t wait to walk the dog again. Even though it’s the 3rd time you’ve walked the dog before lunch, you jump up enthusiastically from your bed (also known as the office, the TV room, and the unofficial dining room table) and take the dog out. You can’t wait for an hour to go by so you can walk the dog again.

6.

2019: You get your hair cut and colored once every 6-8 weeks.

2020: You are going for the Game of Thrones shaggy natural gray hair look and people who see you on Zoom calls are thinking, “Wow, I’ve never noticed how much she looks like her mom”.

7.

2019: You get a mani/pedi every 3-4 weeks.

2020: Once a month you dig out the old nail clippers, rusty metal nail file, and gooey nail polish from 10 years ago and attempt to do your fingernails. You say, “screw it” about your toenails as you are wearing slippers 24/7 these days and you know that your spouse and kids will never notice anyway.

8.

2019: You are always pissed at your internet company and threaten to change companies every time you call them to complain.

2020: You worship your internet company and call them again to thank them and ask them to never leave you. You have accepted that you are in a codependent relationship and can’t live without them because they bring you the joys of Netflix, Hulu, Zoom, Facebook, Twitter, and the millions of news sites you obsessively check 100 times a day.

9.

2019: At dinner, you pump your kids for information about their day.

2020: At dinner, your kids tell you in excruciating detail about their new Fortnite skins, what their favorite YouTuber did today and which Mii just had a baby in Tomodachi life, and you snap, “Can’t I just eat in peace?”.

10.

2019: You are irritated when a delivery person rings your doorbell when you have a delivery.

2020: When the doorbell rings, everyone jumps up and down with excitement and screams, “Delivery!”. You cautiously wait a full minute before opening the door and when the delivery driver is safely back to her truck, you all yell, “Thank you so much for everything you do for us. We hope to see you again soon. We love you!”.

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